Dear cecil,
Is there a dowry system in China?

Dear Anon,
1. You have brought up a very interesting topic.
2. Being born in Asia, I do get to see or `learn' of the various customs and practises of the Chinese, the Indians and the Malays.
3. For the Indians, it is (if I am not wrong) it is usually the bride's side which has to fork out a dowry. This is to compensate the husband's family for `feeding' the wife.
4. For the Chinese, especially modern Chinese, compensation is usually in the form of asking or negotiating with the bride's side on how many wedding (dinner) tables they require.
5. The parent-in-law usually, will also give jewellery or heirloom to the bride. Such as bracelets, etc... This depends on the wealth of the bridegroom `side'.
6. Sometimes, a Cantonese family (bride's side) would request for a whole pig and jewellery.
7. For Teochew Chinese family, (bride's side) would normally request for 4 types of gold.
8. Other than this, not much is asked nowadays. Some even dispense with the above practise. But usually, the bridegroom's side would still present some gold jewellery to the bride. It could be a pair of earings etc..
9. For the Chinese, after marriage, the bride `belongs' to the bridegroom's family.
10. Here, for example: Miss Christine Chen Ai Ling, because of her marriage can be known as Mrs Christine TAN Ai Ling (take the husband's surname).
11. For the Indians, the bride also marries and stay with the husband's side.
12. This is not the case for the Malays (a majority race of Muslims who live especially in Malaysia and Indonesia).
13. Here, when a man marries this bride, he instead stays with his bride's family (assuming they do not have a home of their own yet). My believe is that, because of this the bride can adjust easily with her marriage life. Rather than to stay with `strangers' i.e. a husband and their in-laws.
14. Sometimes if the in-laws are unreasonable or cannot get along with her, then she would have the added `stress.' Some may even comtemplate suicide.
Thus the `dowry' in modern times are few and as many parents are reasonable and want to see their children i.e. many who have only one or two children to be happy.
Warmest Regards,
Cecil

Quote

On 6/28/00 5:39:00 PM, Anonymous wrote:
Dear cecil,
Is there a dowry system in
China?