Own a FREE pond or swimming pool?

Question: Own a FREE pond or swimming pool? YES/NO?
IF NO, please close this e-mail.
IF YES, please read on....
FIRST - READ THE "FINE PRINT" BELOW:-
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1. Presently, YOU MUST stay in IRAQ.
2. Your home should preferably in Tikrit or in a neighbourhood friendly to SADDAM H.
3. You MUST have HATED (not dislike) BUT TRULY HATE your neighbour.
4. Your neighbour must own a sizeable land (next to your landed property).
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5. Find out the HOT-LINE or if there is ever a 1800 number for the US intelligence service located in your Iraq community.
6. Determine whether you want a koi pond or a swimming pool. If, a swimming pool, determine whether you want a shallow or deep pool.
7. Decided what you want?
8. Call the US intelligence Hot-Line.
Informant making a call to the US Intelligence:
Option 1: A shallow koi pond will do
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"I believe the `number one' (on your playing card) is now sleeping at the ground level of my neighbour's home."
Option 2: A deep swimming pool
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"The `number one' is in my neighbour's special bunker that has 6 inch thick walls."
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9. (Just in case) Bring family members out of home to a hotel (far enough but still audible range of sounds made by smart bunker busting bomb) for the moment.
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10. If loud (thundering sound heard).. rush to home. PRESTO! if all goes well, one has killed two birds with one stone.. " GOT RID OF NEIGHBOUR " plus, own a sizeable pond or swimming pool.
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Pray for RAIN.
Erh.. no harm intended. If you had guessed, this is a *JOKE*