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Posted







Hi, I would like to enquire on whether 2 brothers can get married in the same year? My husband and I will be holding our customary in Nov 2005. My brother in law is having his ROM in Sep 2005 with no intention of any customary, and his wife-to-be is due in Jan/Feb 2006. They are currently staying at our house. I understand from others that the later couple will not be very good in this case and they are not suppose to stay with us? Is this true? What should we avoid? Can we attend their ROM/buffet?


Thank you.




Posted
  • Staff

Dear Kellly,


kelly ng wrote:
Hi, I would like to enquire on whether 2 brothers can get married in the same year? My husband and I will be holding our customary in Nov 2005. My brother in law is having his ROM in Sep 2005 with no intention of any customary, and his wife-to-be is due in Jan/Feb 2006. They are currently staying at our house. I understand from others that the later couple will not be very good in this case and they are not suppose to stay with us? Is this true? What should we avoid? Can we attend their ROM/buffet?

Unfortunately, it is not good for two relative to get married within a year. If both must get married within the same year, there must at least bea span of 6-months between the first and second wedding.This is the general chinese believe and custom.


To avoid it, it is best that at least the one getting married later should postpone their wedding a little later.


If there is really no choice that this must happen, then it is best that both side do not attend the other person's wedding.


Hope that helps.


Warmest Regards
Robert Lee
GEOMANCY.NET - Center for Applied Feng Shui Research


Posted
  • Staff

Dear Kelly,


Quote:
Then can they stay with us since my future SIL is due in Jan/Feb 2005?

Ideally, for those who really strictly follow the tradition, it would be best not to have the two married couple stay together.


But, my question will be, will there be an alternate accomodation available for you to not have the married couple stay together.


If not, then I don't think there is much you can do about this. As long as you both do not attend each other's wedding then it shouldn't be as bad anymore even if you are staying together.


Nothing much else you can do as this is a matter of how strongly you believe in this tradition.


Hope that helps.


Warmest Regards
Robert Lee
GEOMANCY.NET - Center for Applied Feng Shui Research


Posted

Dear Robert,


I have attended your recent workshop organised by the bank and find it very interesting and helpful.


Ishare the same concern as Kelly. I am getting married in Malaysia thisNovand I recently learnt that my husband's brother is getting married in Bangkok in Jan 06. The wedding dates are less than 2 months apart.


The brothers do not believe in the chinese custom and the wedding arrangements have been made for both parties, so it's not possible to delay the wedding dates. I am now in such big dilemma that I am not really looking forward to my upcoming wedding.


Would greatly appreciate if you could shed some lights on my worries.


1. If both couples were to attend each other's wedding, what could be the consequences?


2. If my brother and sister-in-laws were to attend our wedding, but we do not attend theirs, would it still be harmful to us?


Many thanksin advance.


The vexed bride-to-be



Posted
  • Staff

Dear Anon,


Anonymous wrote:
Would greatly appreciate if you could shed some lights on my worries.



Anonymous wrote:
1. If both couples were to attend each other's wedding, what could be the consequences?



Anonymous wrote:
2. If my brother and sister-in-laws were to attend our wedding, but we do not attend theirs, would it still be harmful to us?

I must tell you that this is just a Chinese believe or custom. I am not able to tell you exactly what will happen as I never really encounter it. This is what we like to call as since it is something that most chinese belief, best to follow it.


However, if I were to look at it from the western point of view, some also marry just a few days after the previous couples. And yet, nothing happen to them. Which comes to my point, that this is more about how much you believe in this custom happening. Of course, where you can avoid it, try to. But if there isn't a choice, I guess, the best is to minimise the two couples having to attend each other's wedding.This will at least minimise any impact if any.


Hope that helps.


Warmest Regards
Robert Lee
GEOMANCY.NET - Center for Applied Feng Shui Research


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